I’m not here

I’m not here
So leave me alone
Don’t want to be bothered
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It hit me last night while lying in bed

It hit me last night while lying in bed
When vision s of nothing came to my head
When I realized there was no one who would
Share my concern, and there was no one who could
Help me to see the reason to go on trying
Instead of living each day as if I where dying
Who would keep open the door of my heart
And keep my emotions apart
I wouldn’t be so down, if someone were here only
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I find a little mirror to look at my face

I find a little mirror to look at my face
To make sure I’m still me and not my disgrace
Longing for someone to hold me, but yet I’m a man
I’m suppose to make it on my own, I don’t think I can
Realizing my insecurities doesn’t help my life
And facing all my doubts and fears is like juggling knives
I find myself in darkness wondering through dark lands
Isn’t there anyone who can take on both my hands?
The little girl beside me, too young to know what’s real
She could be what I need but I can’t tell her how I feel
I have a friend who’s far away, about two hundred miles
I call him up every now and then and talk for a while
But he often tells me of friends who’ve gone away
By way of death, or sin, or many awful ways
He tells me of my first true Love, her life is a waste
But our friendship is where our strength is based
I have many people that I write several letters
But only when I’m with a friend does it seem to get better
I have an old ex-girlfriend, we go out now and then
Thinking back on old memories, then doing it again
But still I need that someone, to hold my hand through
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It’s no fun no it’s no fun

It’s no fun no it’s no fun
Don’t you wonder why you’re the only one
Work all day
Then blow your pay
Without even the right to say
Do what you want with a Debutant
I wish I could but I just can’t
I envy you
In what you do
I wish I could do them too
Ride all day down a lonely highway
Without even a chance to play
Lonely again
Because you have no friend
And you wonder when its going to end
You killed a few
You don’t know who
But they were trying to kill you too
Screaming wives and bloody knives
Your delusions effect all our lives
Ten thousand ton
And it’s all done
You’ll blow us to kingdom come
Fifty dollars a day for you to play
If you’re caught you’ll get away
Use your body
It’s no party
Drown yourself in a fifth of Bacardi
You look so smug pushing your drug
Hoping you don’t get mug
Oh you’ll try
To get high
But you can just say goodbye
You just loom in a rubber room
Hoping that the dogwoods bloom
You want Clark Kent
For the president
And you wonder where Napoleon went
I’m going to die, I don’t know why
But this life is just one big lie
Just follow me
To eternity
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All I need

Wine women and song
All day long
Sex drugs and Rock & Roll
Will begin to take their toll
But all I need to get high
Is for someone to hold me and Lie
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We drink to forget

We drink to forget
But we remember yet
And it only becomes worse
And the more we drink
And the harder we think
Only prolongs mankind’s curse
Alcohol and blood don’t mix
So how do I get a fix
To make life more easy
Do I need
And will I heed
To a girl that is sleazy
My skin grows numb
And I become dumb
While I take another sip
How can I let it
Make me into shit
Why am I such a dip
Depression is hard
And my heart is bard
So don’t try to get in
Tonight is the night
And if it goes right
I’ll commit some ungodly sin
The girl that I like
Wants me to take a hike
And that’s what I’ll do
So goodbye to All
For this is my fall
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The realization finally hit me

The realization finally hit me
And I’m working on being free
You cannot become so involved in I
And saying that you can is just a lie
The feelings you have for me cannot grow stronger
So I think that I shall try no longer
Please don’t call me just to pass the time
Don’t tell me your problems and past crime
For to get further into your soul
Will make it harder for me to retain control
Now I’ll try other women to make me forget you
And though it will seem real none of them will be true
The pain inside hurts so much
And how it could be relieved with your touch
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